Romance Novel Reviews
by Francine Rivers
The premise: Based on the Book of Hosea from the Bible, but taking place in the 19th century. Michael Hosea has prayed for a wife. God's choice for him is a prostitute who not only does not want to marry him, but leaves him several times. The book is an exercise in expressing the way God loves His children.
The chemistry: I give Sarah and Michael:
Sensuality:
Miscellaneous notes: This is not my usual fare. I was asked to read this by an impassioned Christian. While the characters were genuine and loveable (yes, the whore is loveable), I found the story too painful to enjoy. Twice I nearly put the book down. I can't say I'm thrilled I finished it.
Unusual for a 500 page book, the action seemed to whiz by too quickly. I got the feeling several times that an editor slashed out some important scenes.
While there were times I wanted to throttle Sarah and yell, "What the hell is wrong with you?!" Ms. Rivers did an excellent job in chronicling her life and making the reader really understand her situation. I.E.: how a girl could wind up a prostitute.
My big complaint was having to read 500 pages of poor, pious Michael Hosea live through years of heartache and pain. Seeing him on his knees weeping broke my heart. But, I suppose that only speaks well of the author.
Overall rating:
Miss Billings Treads the Boards
by Carla Kelly
The premise: Upon the death of her father, Katherine Billings finds herself penniless. She falls into the company of a traveling theatre troupe. There she meets Lord Henry Grayson, a balding, overstuffed Marquess, who finds himself with the same troupe for various frivolous reasons.
The chemistry: I give Kate and Hal:
Sensuality:
Miscellaneous notes: I rarely complain about the length of books. They are what they are. But this piece, in particular, really needed to be about 100 pages longer. Ms. Kelly did a nice job setting up the story, but the Big Misunderstanding was never really solved in the end. It just kind of withered away, leaving me empty.
Compared to her other works (namely "Miss Milton Speaks Her Mind"), this one lacked a certain grittiness. This book was decidedly "happier" and was missing the deeper emotions. I never found myself enamored with Hal, and Kate kind of bored me.
That being said, Ms. Kelly's writing style never fails to draw me right into her story and cover me like a warm quilt in winter. I only wish she were still writing historical romances.
Overall rating:
by Barbara Metzger
The premise: "A country girl, Miss Sonia Randolph, has been uprooted and moved to London for her Season. No one there quite understands this free-spirited beauty -- except Major Darius Conover, a man whose wartime heroism failed to erase an old scandal from his peers' memories." What this synopsis does not mention is the matchmaker who brings the two together: Fitz, the dog.
The chemistry: I give Sonia and Darius:
Sensuality:
Miscellaneous notes: This is half narrated by the standard narrator in third person. The other half is narrated in first person by Sonia's loyal companion, Fitz, a cross between a prize hunting dog and a beloved sheep dog. No one wanted the dog, who did not seem to inherit any of the talents of his parents. But once Sonia looked at her father with those eyes, he couldn't say no to letting the girl keep the useless dog as a pet.
The romance in "A Loyal Companion" is mediocre. What really made this book for me was Fitz's observations and his point of view. The wording truly reminded me of the fanfiction at The Adventures of Mr. Gordo. Fitz made me literally laugh out loud several times (once until tears came to my eyes.) While the overall score is not in my keeper range, I will keep it just to reread Fitz's parts.
Overall rating:
by Mary Balogh
The premise: Both Lord Ralph Chartleigh and Georgiana Burton have been arranged into a marriage by their respective parents. Ralph's mother hopes that the marriage will force shy, gentle Ralph to become "more of a man", while Georgiana's father hopes that the marriage will settle the girl out of her hoyden ways.
The chemistry: I give Ralph and Georgiana:
Sensuality:
Miscellaneous notes: This is a prime example of a Big Misunderstanding that is so utterly ridiculous as to ruin the entire plot.
Georgiana is so angry about this marriage, that she pretends to be a shy, quiet, biddable female during her first meetings with Ralph. Her intention is to surprise him after the wedding and show off her wild ways. She, at first, despises Ralph because he is not her ideal of a real man. He doesn't gamble, hunt, and has never kissed a woman, let alone have relations with one.
Ralph falls in love with this "demure" woman on their second meeting. Even after the wedding when Georgiana's personality proves to be quite different, Ralph is nothing but a loving, giving man who encourages her to be exactly who she is. Even when she is openly a bitch and threatens to take on a lover because he is not enough man for her, he blames himself.
Now, the Big Misunderstanding: on their wedding night, during the consummation of the marriage, nervous Georgiana begins prattling and tells him to "Have a care, Ralph! You're hurting me!" This startles him and his...er...manhood, and he cannot complete the act. As they progress with their marriage, Ralph feels she is afraid for him to touch her and Georgiana feels she has offended his sense of manhood and he is therefore afraid to attempt sex with her again. There are numerous times when she tells herself to confront Ralph, but she always weasels out of it, making the misunderstanding that much worse.
What makes this story even worse is that Ralph lets his cousin talk him into taking on a mistress in order to learn how to make love without hurting his bride.
wait
WHAT?!?!?!
This is SO out of character for this man. Never mind the fact that the mistress is really Georgiana in disguise. And, when the cat is let out of the bag, he simply calls her a scamp and has a good laugh.
wait
WHAT?!?!?!
This book is one big bungle from the get-go. I would never recommend it to anyone. It made me physically ill to read it. That is not to say that the actual writing itself is bad, but Ms. Balogh, do have a care. You're hurting me!
Overall rating:
by Allison Lane
The premise: Lord Symington has been manipulated by his grandfather into taking a trip to Cumberland in order to take Lady Elizabeth Fosdale as a bride. When he accidentally compromises her after an accident in the river, he proposes, and she refuses.
The chemistry: I give Randolph and Elizabeth:
Sensuality:
Miscellaneous notes: I must ask myself, "Why did I finish reading this?" The plot was slow. The dialogue was thick with revelatory speeches. The narration had a strong tendency to sum up why a character said what he/she said. The father, Fosdale, was over-the-top evil. I guess I finished it because I was desperate to see something meaningful happen.
And, can you say purple prose? I knew you could!
"Relief engulfed him as their lips met. This time he held nothing back, pouring all his love and longing into the kiss.
"He was home in a way he had never experienced. She completed him, filling a gap he had not suspected was there. Touching her brought more happiness than he had felt in years.
"Her kisses kindled insatiable needs that would take a lifetime to satisfy. And she was just as affected. Exploring her passion would keep him occupied forever."
Oh, just shut the bloody hell up already!!!
And if this passage actually made you want to read this book, then it's time to stop reading my reviews because our tastes DO NOT coincide.
Overall rating:
by Eloise James
The premise: Gabriella Jerningham has been forced into an engagement by her father to the Viscount Dewland's second son, Peter. However, it's Peter's brother, Erskine, with whom she ends up in love. Erskine, Quill, would have been the fiancé, save for an accident that left him experiencing migraines with sexual intercourse.
The chemistry: I give Gabby and Quill:
Sensuality:
Miscellaneous notes: The one big plus for this story was the first half where we watch Quill fight his attraction for Gabby, while Peter struggles with his father's dictate that he marry this gauche woman from India. It is suggested that Peter is actually gay, and therefore has good reason to not want to marry Gabby. So, dear Quill, who is nearly in love with her anyway, takes over as her fiancé.
The emotions in this first half were engaging. There were just a few weird parts.
Weird part 1: Gabby nearly begs for Quill to kiss her (during her engagement with Peter). Then, after the lustful ménage is complete, hopes that Peter will kiss her in just the same way. She has absolutely NO feelings for Quill what-so-ever. She thinks of the making out session as no more intimate than a shaking of hands.
Weird Part 2: Gabby fancies herself in love with Peter, just from the miniature she has been given of the man. She has wrapped herself up in this fantasy of a perfect marriage with Peter. But when Quill suggests marrying himself instead, she goes for it without a second thought.
Weird Part 3: Gabby has NO idea what sex involves. None. When Quill touches her nether regions, she feels it is disgraceful and against God. Um, this kind of contrasts with Weird Part 1, does it not?
Weird Part 4: Okay, this is not so much weird, as it was irritating. There were several aspects of this book that were outlined in the end as based in fact. The notion that repetitive motion in an injured hip would cause migraines, I felt, was ludicrous. Apparently, this is documented...somewhere. But, I have to take exception with something that has NO basis in fact and actually made me more irritated when seeing that Ms. James prided herself on sticking to reality for her novel. Gabby is unconscious and Quill feels that if he can keep her hydrated, she will recover. So, he takes to spooning water into her mouth. While most of it spills out onto her clothing, some of it does not, and it is assumed that it is making it into her throat.
HOG WASH!
If this really happened, Quill would have killed her. She would have aspirated the water (breathed it in) and ended up with a pneumonia, or she would have simply drowned. Instead, she wakes up refreshed and needing to use the chamber pot because she feels she drank a river.
Whatever.
I do have to commend Ms. James on not dragging out Big Misunderstandings. While Quill tended to walk away from things without dealing with them openly, Gabby always dragged him back into the discussion. Misunderstandings did not last for long, and for this, I am grateful. It gets tiresome reading book after book where just a simple explanation could have prevented innumerable problems.
Enchanting Pleasures also involves a secondary romance between two minor characters and a political plot to place a figurehead in government in India. While the romance was really quite enchanting, the political intrigue was more an after thought and seemed terribly out of place.
I can't say that the overall editing was grand - the book's flow felt very piecemealed. In all, I would have rated the beginning, until that first kiss, a 4 quill. It's a shame it did not continue as it began.
Overall rating:
by Julia Quinn
The premise: Having watched his entire family of seven siblings marry for love, Gregory Bridgerton has, somewhat expectedly, grown to be a romantic. Yet he still has something to learn about the difference between infatuation and love. At a social event, Gregory sees the back of a woman's neck and falls head over heals in "love" with Hermione, the object of many men's desire. Hermione's friend, Lady Lucinda, attempts to turn her friend's heart toward Mr. Bridgerton in an attempt to quell Hermione's infatuation with a wholly unsuitable man.
The chemistry: I give Gregory and Lucy:
Sensuality:
Miscellaneous notes: As far as a stand alone romance goes, this one was a bit boring and formulaic. I never got that twinge that signals a good story. However, as part of the Bridgerton series, it was comforting and entertaining to read.
I will admit that the observations about Gregory not having to work for anything in life were a bit forced and never backed up with evidence. Also, he may be a romantic, but that doesn't mean every sentence out of his mouth has to be "I love you." That, also, was forced and unnatural.
Additionally, for such a light hearted book, the antagonists, Uncle Robert and Davenport, were just too evil. Threats of rape from your father-in-law just do not add to this story. They drag it down into the pits of despair and make me want to retch.
The best I can say about this book is that Ms. Quinn still has that flare for verbal bantering. I never fail to get a kick out of her characters' interactions. Even if she were to write another in this series (which is now finished), I would buy it the day it was released just to bask in the glow that is the Bridgerton family. After all, wouldn't we all like to belong?
Overall rating:
by Laura Kinsale
The premise: Roderica Delamore has resigned herself to a life without marriage or children due to her preternatural gift - she can read the thoughts of any creature near her. When she meets Faelan Savigar, a man whose mind is closed to her Gift, she decides to marry him, despite his reputation as the Devil Earl.
The chemistry: I give Roddy and Faelan:
Sensuality:
Miscellaneous notes: The first half was a solid 5 quill. It had been a long time since I read a book that called to me. I simply could not tear myself away from its pages. Once the couple was married and moved to Ireland, the story somewhat fell apart and became a bit too ethereal for my tastes.
Now, this comes from a person whose favorite TV programs/movies all have a Sci-Fi or fantasy theme to them. So, my disappointment in the latter half is certainly not based on a simple dislike for the genre itself. As my husband pointed out, there is a difference between expecting the reader to believe something improbable and something impossible. I have no problem suspending disbelief for the improbability that Roddy can read the minds of those around her. I simply cannot believe the impossibility of the explanation for Faelan's undeserved reputation. I certainly will not go into the details here (as they are spoilers), but rest assured that if you read this book, the ending will disappoint.
In addition, making this book less than satisfactory for me, in particular, is the hero. He is the typical tortured hero, whom we are supposed to want to reform and love. Pshhhh. Faelan is a closed, bitter, hateful man who doesn't deserve Roddy. It was fine to roll along with his characterization for the first half, but it really got tiring. I would never stay with a man like this. I would have left him...or never married him. It's just NOT romantic to be treated like a possession and to be called "little girl" at every turn.
I will, however, mention my very favorite character in this book: MacLassar. You see, MacLassar is Roddy's pet piglet. He is given to her, essentially as a sacrifice, by a peasant woman. Roddy loves his company because he is so simple that the only thoughts that ever enter his head are "warm" and "food". He follows her around like a puppy dog and loves to nuzzle behind her ear. How can you not fall in love with a man like that?
Overall rating:
by Sophia Nash
The premise: Lord Nicholas Huntington returns from war with a badly broken and infected leg. The estate's doctor and his daughter nurse him back to health.
The chemistry: I give Charlotte and Nicholas:
Sensuality:
Miscellaneous notes: Having no knowledge of this writer, I would venture to say that her writing is amateurish with promise. She uses too many adjectives and substitutes ridiculous words for her characters (I.E. “the younger man”…just say “James”! We know who he is. The fact that he’s younger doesn’t even matter in the context.) Also, Ms. Nash springs issues and themes upon us. The main issue, of Nicholas’ illiteracy, is well formed and thought through, but others, such as Charlotte's fear of being left alone, is not.
She also needs some work on her plotting. It seems perfectly natural that Charlotte would not feel "good enough" for a Duke's heir, given her humble birth and station. The same is true for Nicholas, who sees Charlotte's intelligence and feels himself to be an "ignorant" and therefore not good enough to be with her. (Nicholas is not actually stupid, he is dyslexic.) However, Ms. Nash handles it poorly, making Nicholas jealous of Charlotte's slimy cousin and then making him behave like a cave man.
The only part in this book that actually dug down to touch my emotions was the death of a character and it's reaction on Charlotte. The romance itself was tepid at best.
And the epilogue? Skip it if you're diabetic...or have any sense of taste. It features a scene with our heroes reading a book to their children called "A Passionate Endeavor".
Overall rating:
by Madeline Hunter
The premise: The Countess of Glasbury has been separated from her malevolent husband for years. She relies, once again, on her solicitor and good friend Julian Hampton for assistance when the Earl decides to petition the court for restoration of his conjugal rights.
The chemistry: I give Penelope and Julian:
Sensuality:
Miscellaneous notes: This is a long plot that does not delve into politics or intrigue. It's nice to see that for a change. It's simply the story of a woman who is, under the law, a slave to her husband and the story of a man who risks everything to prevent harm from coming to the woman he's loved from afar for nearly two decades. My favorite stories are ŕ la Dickens - entertainment with a side order of education. I would not say that my taste runs dark, but I like a good dose of reality.
The only thing keeping this book from my keeper shelf is Ms. Hunter's use of sex as the means to an end. In my world, sex is the expression of love, not the vehicle in which to develop it.
Overall rating:
by Teresa DesJardien
The premise: Six 20-somethings, friends since childhood, set out North on a treasure hunt to avoid the sweltering heat.
The chemistry: I give :
Sensuality:
Miscellaneous notes: One of the few books where the promising premise could not overcome the boredom of the actual plot. The clues laid out all involve the history of the English territory in which they travel. As an American native, I could not have possibly been more bored with the hunt itself.
Overall rating:
by Carol Proctor
The premise: While escaping the matchmaking antics of his mother, Aubrey Herne is shot. For several reasons, one of which is Letitia, the nearby home's Mistress who is a title-grubbing mother, Aubrey masquerades as a drawing master.
The chemistry: I give Aubrey and Georgiana:
Sensuality:
Miscellaneous notes: Amateur writing with too much inconsequential involvement of the secondary characters. In fact, in the last quarter of the book, a third romance is introduced.
Overall rating:
by Carla Kelly
The premise: While sailing to Charleston to meet her brother, Miss Hannah Wittier's ship is accosted by the British Navy and then sunk by the French. Subsequently, Hannah is rescued as the only survivor by the British ship that impressed several men from her ship. While Captain Daniel Spark does not remotely resemble the type of man she has decided to marry, she nevertheless falls in love.
The chemistry: I give Hannah and Daniel:
Sensuality:
Miscellaneous notes: Very typical Carla Kelly writing. Her voice is so unique, it wraps around me like a warm blanket and I feel everything her characters feel. It's a crying shame she left the genre.
The only thing preventing me from rating this particular book higher was Daniel. Hannah so obviously puts him above all else, while he does not return the sentiment. It took him half the book to get her to agree to marry a man already married to the sea. On the eve of their anniversary party, he is assigned a new ship and immediately gallivants off to see to it's preparation...with no plans to even say goodbye to Hannah. He does apologize later, but it still left me with a bad taste in my mouth.
I am now running dangerously close to running out of Kelly books, and it makes me sad.
Overall rating:
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