Romance Novel Reviews
The Unreadable Collection
These are the novels that, for one or more of the following reasons, I did not finish.
I warn you, some of these books are Desert Island Keepers according to All About Books. Therefore, reader beware. I'm a picky and fickle reader.
1) Amateurish writing
2) Bad plotting
3) Ultra-alpha male
4) Plot involving adultery, rape, prostitution or other things that completely squick me out
Nancy Butler's The Ramshackle Suitor - I suppose I could have given this book a chance, but the hero was a wastrel and the heroine a bitch. I wasn't about to waste another minute on this book.
Loretta Chase's Lord of Scoundrels - I don't know why I ever bought this. Just the back cover made me throw it in the "sell" pile. A woman finds a man unsuitable for her sister...but for herself, yay! Let's f*%#!!!
Marilyn Clay's Miss Eliza's Gentleman Caller
Catherine Coulter's The Duke
Heather Cullman's Bewitched - The writing is sophomoric and nearly impossible to follow. I suppose the plot of this book could have been worth reading but not as written by this author.
Amy J. Fetzer's Taming the Beast
Julie Garwood's The Lion's Lady - The heroine dreams of finding a man to marry who is just like her father: emotionally constipated and a fighter. I have a sneaking suspicion she would have found just that, and I did not care to read about it.
Mona Gedney's Lady Hilary's Halloween - This story was so poorly written, I made it to paragraph 3.
Shirley Kennedy's The Selfless Sister - Bad writing.
Martha Kirkland's The Ruby Necklace - This author must have sold her soul to publish a novel. I've written better phrases on the bathroom stall. And, not only is Ms. Kirkland a terrible writer, her plotting is ludicrous and wholly unbelievable.
Lisa Kleypas's Someone to Watch Over Me - This book started out with the hero thinking this woman was a whore he had bedded. It turned me off instantly.
Elizabeth Lowell's Winter Fire
Jenna Mindel's Miss Whitlow's Turn - I read the prologue of this and had to stop. The writing is awful and the main characters already shared their first kiss...in the prologue. The old adage, "show, don't tell" really needed to be pounded into Ms. Mindel's head before someone decided to publish one of her books.
Barbara Metzger's Miss Westlake's Windfall - Another case of bad writing being hailed as great literature. WTF?
JoAnn Power's You and No Other - This is what I would consider a "trashy romance novel".
Donna Simpson's Lady May's Folly - This book finally caused me to make a pact with myself. Stop reading after the third exclamation mark!!! Plus, the writer just summed up a great deal of the plot in the first 5 pages. She ruined a great chance at a great book. Oh, wait. She ruined a great chance at a great book!!!!
Kathleen Woodiwiss's Shanna - I read just over a hundred pages of this 660 pager. Rape and lust do not equal romance to me. I suppose the rest of the book could have been wonderful, but I just could not get passed the beginning. In order to agree to this "marriage", the prisoner, Ruark, weasels out a promise from Shanna to consummate the marriage. She does agree, but never intends to comply. This becomes his ENTIRE focus in life after escaping the hangman's noose...to bone her. UGH!
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